My 2020 Top Ten
Over dinner with a friend the other night, we discussed some of the recent developments 2020 had presented for us. Her journey through the year had been full of very real and unexpected challenges -- far beyond the collective miseries we have been through as a nation. But as I listened to her speak, the light in her eyes reflected warmth, appreciation, and hope. She stood firmly against dismissing the whole year as rubbish, and focused instead on the small victories and equally unexpected bright spots of 2020. Her positivity has inspired this post, and this list of ten areas of increased happiness and joy in my life that have unfolded over the past year.
10. We spent way more time outside! We put up a swing in the backyard, and more recently a Ninja Slackline. I grew some vegetables successfully for the first time ever, we went on dozens of hikes in Moss Rock Preserve, and we just received a fire pit as a gift. We figured out how to do socially distanced hangs on our deck, and I ran my first 5K in over a decade. All this has given me an increased appreciation for living in Birmingham Alabama, and deepened my gratitude for nature, sunshine, and outdoor spaces.
9. I gave up wearing pants with buttons and zippers. While all the reasons for this one may not be positive, I have fully embraced living life in comfortable clothes. I had all but forgotten what it was like to wear a pair of heels until I slipped on a set earlier in the month for the rare occasion that called for them, and I think my feet are still mad at me! In all seriousness, this pandemic has also shown me how many items of apparel that I own and don’t really wear or need -- even in normal times. Clearing that space and making some donations is going on my New Year’s resolutions list for 2021.
8. We cooked at home. And then cooked at home again, and then cooked some more. . . And to be completely honest, I am feeling a bit burned out from all the cooking! I am grateful however that we figured out the meal planning, learned new recipes, and even started some new traditions including pizza Fridays, and taco Tuesdays. My kids also learned to bake on their own, which has been quite empowering for them, and have allowed us to share their creations with others.
7. Zoom made it possible to connect with loved ones everywhere. Like so many of us, quarantine life made the world seem both smaller and bigger at the same time. In the past few months I have had zoom get-togethers with friends and family I haven’t seen in years. Although major life events are always going to be better in person, I still got to see my cousin get married, attended more than one 50th birthday celebration, and heard my sister speak at my grandmother’s funeral -- all virtually. Without these platforms it would have been crushing to miss these things completely.
6. I was forced to examine my identity outside of my chosen career path. This was one of the most challenging aspects of the year for me, but ultimately it helped me to see myself in a healthier way. It wasn’t until performing live with others was taken away that I realized how much I had allowed this to define me, and shape my sense of self-worth. As we close on 10 months of not being able to perform concerts, I have come to realize that the chemistry and magic of playing music with others, for others, is at the heart of why we do what we do. As I type this, I am remote watching one of my best friends perform a live New Year’s Eve concert (masked and socially distanced) with friends in a perfectly charming Vermont barn. She had just texted me yesterday that she couldn’t be happier. The combination of friends, music, and celebration is hard to beat. It is my sincere hope that when we return to live performances and live audiences that I will be able to keep this perspective, and remember that it is the love of the music, the generosity of spirit, and the genuine connection with people that matter in this profession.
5. I started a business. Necessity is the mother of. . . reinvention? I have written about this a great deal already, so I won’t go into too much detail here. I never imagined that I would want to have a business, but I learned that when you are selling something you deeply care about and really believe in, that it doesn’t feel like trying to sell something. The feeling has been much closer to sharing; and it has connected me to so many in a time when connection is at a premium.
4. I made new friends! This was one of the absolute best and most surprising things that happened during this pandemic. It has been my experience as a mother of two in her forties that making new friends and expanding a social network can be challenging under any circumstances. This quarantine experience has taught me that nurturing and growing friendship is not just about spending time in person, but that there are many ways to invest our time, thoughts, and energy into relationships.
3. I was afforded time, space, and opportunity to grow my faith. In the past it was far too typical for me to let my prayer and faith practices get pushed to the sidelines in favor of the patterns of a busy and over-scheduled life. Quarantine allowed us the time and freedom in our schedule to recommit our Sunday mornings to church activities, and as a result I found a whole new support system. Regular prayer and meditation have helped to keep me centered, and I am constantly being reminded how making time for this practice helps everything else to fall into place.
2. We had so much more family time than we would have gotten in a normal year. Ok, I know -- parents everywhere are pulling their hair out as we close on a year of remote learning and remote working! I am very aware that the changes in our work schedule made this arrangement less complicated for our family, and we still certainly have our moments here -- the noise, the constant interruptions, the occasional full-on meltdown. But I can’t help thinking about a normal year, and how I frequently grieve the fact that there are many weeks when I just don’t see my kids very much. As orchestral musicians, my husband and I end up working a fair number of nights during our season, which means the children are in the care of others often. This year gave us more reading time together, more movie nights, and more family game nights. I feel like I know my children better as a result of this extra time spent together.
1. I have a clearer picture of what is truly important in this life. Well, this is really just a summary of everything else I have already mentioned! So I guess I cheated a bit on the ten highlights, but I think the magnitude of this shift is definitely deserving of its own special spot on this list.
I truly believe that if we can all embrace our lives more fully, see each other more clearly, and move forward in a spirit of humility and grace that we can collectively create a better future. May 2021 be like a phoenix rising from the ashes, and bring you increased joy, happiness, growth, insight, love, peace, and hope. Happy New Year everyone.