Silver Linings: Routine for the Win
As we get set to enter our fourth week in quarantine due to the rapidly spreading coronavirus, I am finding myself fearful and anxious about many things. Sitting down to write this post is definitely one of these things I am battling, my usual tendency to procrastinate and distract myself is acting as a powerful pull away from this task. If you are anything like me, you may be experiencing the dizzying effect of your mind careening around all the things you think you should be spending your time doing, but what you are actually doing is reading yet another terrifying article on the internet -- or for some inexplicable reason you are finding yourself vacuuming behind your washing machine. I begin this way so that it is clear that the struggle here is real for me; Being at home all the time has its unique challenges for my personality type. One of my favorite books to read to my kids when they were little was If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, by Laura Numeroff. Do you remember that one? If not, it is this incredibly charming story of a mouse that starts one task (getting some milk to go with his cookie), but that task makes him think about something else he should do, and so on and so forth, until he finds himself worn out and hungry, wanting another cookie to snack on. This mouse’s saga is an excellent analogy for my life these days!
Like many of you, last week was our first official week homeschooling our children. If I am being completely honest, homeschooling has never been something I have considered, or been interested in doing. Selfishly, I always imagined it would require 100% self-sacrifice, that I would be bored to tears, and that it would demand a level of patience that I am not capable of. Much to my delighted surprise, I have found myself engaged -- full of wonder and gratitude for getting to play this small role in my children’s education. I know, it has only been one week, and I am by no means comparing myself to all the parents out there that have chosen to do this full time, but the challenges I have encountered have been far outweighed by the joys. Perhaps most surprisingly, imposing a school structure on my day has helped me immensely with my own work, and my mental health. Reflecting on my week, I have observed that this school structure is one of three ways routine is helping me (and my family) to cope.
My children are very fortunate to be able to attend the Alabama Waldorf School. In the Waldorf tradition, routine, or what they typically refer to as ‘rhythm’, is highly emphasized starting in the nursery programs. As you might expect, this includes specific times for snack, lunch, and naps, but also includes some ceremonial rituals to assist the transition between these times. The child leaves the parent by means of a handshake with the teacher in the morning, a gesture of both welcome and transition of care to the teacher. A lovely verse is recited (from memory) by the students before they begin their academic work, and another at its close. These are details that could go unnoticed, or perhaps even seen as filigree, but upon closer inspection their inclusion is revealed as highly intentional and philosophically important.
One of the philosophical underpinnings I have experienced in the past week as being incredibly helpful, is the Waldorf concept of ‘in breaths’ and ‘out breaths.’ ‘In breath’ activities are centered and concentration focused, while ‘out breaths’ are expansive and more improvisatory -- an academic block versus free play time or movement based activity. This carefully thought out interplay, assisted by the transition rituals, helps the child to be ready to learn during the working periods, and be ready to release pent up energy during the free periods. In my own work, I see how I often neglect this rhythm, and begin to burn myself out. I tend to push myself hard, fueled by guilt from procrastinating, and in the end experience a type of productivity hangover. Out of gas, I then find it hard to enjoy family time or relaxing time -- even if I feel like I have ‘earned it.’ Becoming aware of this tendency, and understanding better how I can adjust, has allowed me to offer myself some grace. This past week there were many points of struggle to find balance, but we stumbled along, and began to find our rhythm as a family as the week went on.
The second aspect of routine that has helped me, has been prioritizing exercise every day. My ability to commit to this has surprised me, as I have always found the discipline of this difficult when it’s not organized. I have been able to commit to Pilates as a practice partly because I worked it into my routine -- stopping by the studio for a class in between dropping my children at school, and then heading to work. It fit perfectly there, and I began to look forward to it, especially as I experienced the benefits of Pilates while living out the rest of my life. When the studio closed as a non-essential business, the instructors moved online offering live zoom classes at regularly scheduled times throughout the day. The first time I saw their faces on the screen I felt overwhelmed with emotion. I hadn’t realized how much I missed them and practicing with them in person. Zoom classes are of course second best, but knowing that they too would be there at 3:30 every day gave me a reason to structure other things around that commitment. Now I want to be there and I look forward to it.
The third aspect of routine that I have been able to stick with, is most shockingly, in my practice routine. For those of you that don’t know, I am a clarinetist, and my full time work is with the Alabama Symphony Orchestra. Like all musicians in this country, we of course can no longer play and perform together during this time. I say that this is shocking (maybe I am exaggerating a bit) because I have always felt lost professionally when I have not had concrete goals and concerts to work towards. I know the things I am supposed to do to continue honing my skills or stay in shape, but I have always found the lack of structure disorienting -- I simply don’t manage my time well. And that is if I manage it at all! Often just summoning the motivation to start is more than I can accomplish. So what changed?
For several months now, my husband Ryan (also a musician in the orchestra) has been working on fundamental practice routine programs laid out in spreadsheet format. Fundamental here means basic categories of playing we need to address regularly to succeed: Scales, articulation work, long tones, etc. Without getting too far into the details of how this works, the spreadsheet essentially provides a plan, on a schedule, of what to do each day. There are specific exercises at specific tempos, and the plan accounts for progression in categories where that is a desired outcome. I have been amazed at what this tool has done for the anxiety that I often experience around practicing. I no longer sit down and stare into the overwhelming possibility of having too many options. Nor do I simply jump into a warm-up routine and proceed on autopilot. There is a balanced amount of variety AND consistency to keep me engaged and moving forward. The security of knowing what I need to do and about how long it will take has helped me commit to practicing six days a week. If you want to know more about these practice routines, Ryan is releasing a podcast episode that covers the many benefits of organized practice this coming Wednesday April 8th on his podcast “That’s Not Spit, It’s Condensation.” (Yep, you read that right).
In conclusion, the routine that I have been able to cobble together over the past couple of weeks has been saving my sanity. I would like to close with the beautiful morning verse that the amazing teachers at the Alabama Waldorf School have provided for us to read with our children before we start our work together. I think it provides the perfect sentiment for beginning any of the work we might do on any given day.
The sun with loving light makes bright for me each day.
The soul with spirit power gives strength unto my limbs.
In sunlight shining clear I do revere, oh God, the strength of humankind,
Which Thou so graciously has planted in my soul.
That I may strive to work and eager be to learn.
From Thee come light and strength,
To Thee stream love and thanks.